


I want you and always will

by mooonynight



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Porn with Feelings, or studying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 12:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19441600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooonynight/pseuds/mooonynight
Summary: It didn´t work. His angel kept stuck with that stupid idea of talking with the Almighty, so She could fix it. God as always was moving in mysterious ways, God writes straight with crooked lines, because none ever knew God’s plans for heaven´s sakes. Not even angels.





	I want you and always will

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again :)  
> I believe I'm a little obsessed with these two and this show. The song that inspired this one is Oceans by Seafr

**Pre - Armageddon**

****

**_‘Good evening you are listening to BBC Radio 1’_ **

_Yeah I want you_

_And nothing comes close_

_To the way that I need you_

_I wish I could feel your skin_

_And I want you_

_From somewhere within_

Crowley sighed and rolled the glass of scotch between his hands closing his eyes listening to the music. For the first time in years Crowley bothered to listen to the radio, the apocalypse was near and he wanted to do something different. Following the silly human cliché of doing something you never did before. He took a sip of his scotch and sighed again, biting his lips his mind going back to a few hours ago, replaying everything that Aziraphale, his angel, had told him. He then watched carefully as a tiny bit of hope showed up on the angel’s face and the dreamy look on his too blue and beautiful eyes and Crowley dared to hope too. Dared to hope about only their side existing, away up in the stars just the two of them, living in a small house on Alpha Centauri or Gallyfrey. Gallyfreian people were such nice understanding people they would accept them with no trouble, no more reports, no more thwarting or wiles, no more head offices Beezebuth or Gabriel or any of this, just the two of them in a nice planet with nice people trying to finally be happy. Where he could finally, touch, kiss, and tell everything he felt and had to swallow down every fucking day for almost six thousand years. Those bloody feelings he kept for ages bottled up inside him.

‘ _Go off together ? Listen to yourself !’_

His mind supplied, the hopeful tone on his angel’s voice, of course Aziraphale wanted this as much as he did, just as badly it was written all over his face. Of course, he refused it to both actually go off with him, to actually leave all this stupid nonsense behind and just be happy. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ angel! Their fucking head offices didn´t give a fuck about them. Crowley thought angrily, feeling the tears sting in his eyes. He just wanted a chance with Aziraphale, to touch him properly. He recalled all the times they´ve encountered each other through the history and the small weeks they would take off together to get drunk and mock their respective head offices, and just talk. How close they were of each other staring, almost touching, and almost giving into those feelings bubbling under their skin, the longing afterwards. He could feel the angel´s eyes follow his every move when they were together how Aziraphale would fixate his eyes on his lips every time Crowley took a cup or a glass to his lips, or ate a bit of food. The angel would lick his lips and close his eyes sighing in resignation. Crowley knew, he have watched and replayed every little moment on his mind, torturing himself with it, wanking himself to the memories of these small stolen moments when their fingers brushed together or when he and Aziraphale got too close or their knees and shoulders brushed together.

Imagining how touch his angel must feel, if his skin was soft like it seemed, how it would be run his hands for those blonde white curls and trace his lips with his fingers following their shape, to hold on Aziraphale soft lovely body while they were deep in passion and letting out all those eons of hiding their feelings behind.

Crowley took another sip of his scotch and got up. Would not do dwell on these thoughts right now. He was going to the bookshop again, he was going to beg the angel to come with him to Alpha Centauri or Gallyfrey or Pluto since the angel said yes to him. He just needed to convince him to come to the stars.

It didn´t work. His angel kept stuck with that stupid idea of talking with the Almighty, so She could fix it. God as always was moving in mysterious ways, God writes straight with crooked lines, because none ever knew God’s plans for heaven´s sakes. Not even angels.

‘ _I´m going home angel. I´m getting my stuff and I´m leaving and when I´m off in the stars I won’t even think about you’ It_ was the worst and more hurtful lie that ever escaped his lips. Of course, he would think about Aziraphale and he knew that in no time he would be back to beg him again, actually beg, get on his knees if he needed to.

_I want you_

_And I always will_

_I wish I was worth_

_But I know what you deserve_

_You know I'd rather drown_

_Than to go on without you_

_But you're pulling me down_

He lost Aziraphale and nothing made any sense. He had lost his angel, the world could fuck explode right now he didn´t care, he is going to just sit in this pub and drink himself until the skies were red and comets were crashing down the atmosphere and the sea turned into a massive bowl of _bouill- bouilla_ whatever name the French called that fancy fish stew of theirs. He had no reason to fight anymore. Crowley would gladly spent the eternity doing whatever he was told to or causing problems or listening the Heavens torturing the demons with The Sound of Music for all he care. He started to pray silently that the rain crashing outside would be one of holy water, heavy fat droplets of holy water. Be discorporate was still a better option than live without Aziraphale. His life would be so empty without him and that endless faith and love, grace, and he did not even add the fact that Aziraphale was a enough of a bastard worth knowing. He recalled being an angel sometimes. It was when he first saw Aziraphale, before he sauntered downwards, that gracious angel with an easy smile helping the cherubs with their chores of looking cute all the time, and following Gabriel´s steps without a word of complaint even though the archangel would throw orders at him. Crowley followed Lucifer and the guys, and every time he feels guilty and unworthy of Aziraphale and everything that he is. He hates himself so much for it. Why he did not have seen it before? Defying the Almighty, asking questions when they were made with sole purpose of obeying and do as they were told. Nevertheless, he was curious, curious about what was that about. About the questions, he wanted answers. Why was this so wrong Up There ? He just wanted to know and that would have been his damnation. If he hadn´t asked or went to the bloody meetings with Lucifer he could be with Aziraphale right now, both in heaven, fighting side by side. It was fun though, how his world revolved around the angel. His angel.

**Post Amargeddon’t and Trials.**

Crowley watched Aziraphale feeling a little dazzled. Watched as he moved around his flat to fetch more champagne, to talk with his plants covering the little traitorous bastards with love and compliments. He only followed him resting his body against the doorframe as Aziraphale listened to what the plants were saying, the champagne flute on his hand, bare feet and without so many clothes, the light making his white blonde curls glisten, his cheeks flustered and an easy happy smile on his face.

‘Oh thank you !’ he said to the bindweed over the small fence that Crowley had placed against the wall, the white flowers vigorous and shining more than ever ‘Oh, really ? I didn’t know that !’ the angel said. gently lifting his eyes from the plants to stare at Crowley his eyes blue eyes so bright, it almost seemed to Crowley that all the stars were dancing in his angel´s eyes ‘Oh….Are you sure of this darling ?’ he asked the plant, gently turning to a large pot of lemongrass.

The same lemongrass that Crowley would take to the angel, under the excuse of drinking fresh tea instead of the boxed ones because _‘Really angel for all you know these teabags must be filled with all sorts of chemicals, here lets have fresh tea !’_ Actually, nothing made Crowley happier than seeing the knowing smile on Aziraphale´s face and he loved take the product of so much hard work to the angel (Not that shouting at the plants count as hard work when it comes to gardening). It made him immensely happy.

‘Enough angel you´ll spoil ‘em’ The demon said.

‘But _darling_ , they were just telling me how much you talk about me’ the angel said amused never breaking the eye contact, leaning a little to listen what a bromeliad had to say as well, Aziraphale giggled ‘Yes, he is lovely, indeed’ the angel winked at him.

Crowley gasped. Aziraphale winked at him and his plants beamed the little fucking bastards _beamed and giggled._ Where are their respect for him? He would teach them a lesson later. Crowley walked to Aziraphale and took him by the hand taking him out of the greenery, swearing and murmuring under his breath about what he would do to them. He had not noticed when the angel interlocked their fingers together trying to supress his laughter.

‘Honestly, _darling_ don’t threat the _poor things_ like this they are not lying’ Aziraphale said and Crowley came to a halt in the middle of the corridor leading to the living room the angel taking advantage of the moment, slowly wrapped his arms around the demons´ torso, resting his cheek on his back and Crowley wanted to scream. He closed his eyes and swallowed the scream down his throat, squeezing his eye shut, feeling the angel´s fingertips move gently through the thin fabric of his shirt in light caresses sending shivers down his spine, making him almost moan. Then Crowley felt a light kiss on his shoulder and bit back another moan. It was a butterfly kiss only. It was not worth a moan, _really_. However, Aziraphale´s warm lips against his cold skin even over the fabric of his shirt is….is…. _Oh God_.

He waited so long for it, for this touch even if it is this gentle, even with a layer of fabric separating his angel´s beautiful soft lips from his skin.

Crowley´s brain short-circuited when he felt the angel place a small open-mouthed kiss on the back of his neck, he went weak on the knees, if Aziraphale wasn´t holding him so tight he´d fallen to the floor. If that had happened he would have worshipped Aziraphale by kissing his feet and hands in utterly devotion, offering himself in abandon to his angel take his claim on him. He felt the angel clutch him closer, flushing their bodies together. He would not mind if it was one time drunk thing, a moment of adrenaline after being through so much. Crowley just needed it; he just needed the angel’s touch, the angel taking him in any way he wanted to have him. Crowley would be his gladly. Even if God Herself smite him afterwards. He did not care.

Aziraphale stopped touching him and he let out a despaired noise escape his mouth and begged on a pained tone of voice

‘ _Please_ angel, please, don´t stop, _don´t stop_ ….’ The demon almost sobbed.

‘Darling, please stop thinking. I can hear it’ the angel answered calmly. Then Aziraphale spun him around and placed a hand on his cheek, he leaned on the touch kissing the angel´s palm eyes fluttering close, feeling Aziraphale caress his cheek with the pad of his thumb, and slowly dragging it through the demon skin until it reached his lips, tracing them, rubbing his finger there. Crowley whimpered, parting his lips allowing the angel to continue his exploration ‘So beautiful….’ Aziraphale whispered and kissed him. Licking into his mouth, tracing his tongue and teeth with his tongue, sucking on it. Making hard to Crowley to keep control of his body. He barely noticed that he had miracle them on his bedroom making Aziraphale laugh a little on his lips.

They started to divest each other with trembling hands and impatient huffs.

‘We could just miracle them away, darling…’ Aziraphale suggested panting a little after another breath-taking kiss, while Crowley fumbled with his pants.

‘No angel, I´ve waited too long for this moment to just miracle them away’

When they finally were free of clothes. Crowley felt his back collide against the mattress the angel all over him, kissing his neck and down his chest, playing with his nipples alternating licks and gentle bites making the demon arch his back, kissing each one of his ribs while interlocking their fingers, whispering praising lovingly words.

‘You’re so beautiful like this, darling’ Crowley dug his fingers on the angel´s shoulder, running his nails over the skin whimpering each time the angel lowered his kisses more, reaching his hipbone, tracing soft kisses on his thighs the demon screamed in pleasure when the angel took him in his mouth, licking his cock head first and ever so slightly taking him, never breaking their eye contact or the hold on his fingers. When Aziraphale started to bob his head, almost closing his eyes Crowley lose it and he moved his hips in soft thrusts.

‘ _Aziraphale…._ ’ the angel moaned around his cock, sending electric shocks through his body. He was sure he could not hold it any longer and then he came on his angel´s mouth with a cry, squeezing Aziraphale’s fingers with a breaking force. Aziraphale smiled at him from between his legs and he pushed the angel up by the shoulders, kissing him violently tasting himself on his angel tongue watching as Aziraphale moved slowly. How can the angel be so calm about this? So patient. He straddled Aziraphale, resting his hands on both his cheeks kissing him desperately while whispering on his lips ‘Take me angel, take me...Make me fully yours’ He sobbed on the angel´s lips biting them and then kissing him brutally again.

A few moments later Crowley felt Aziraphale´s fingers inside preparing him, while the angel sucked bruises on his neck and shoulders. Why was Aziraphale taking so long to be inside him? _Why_? Crowley thought with despair. He was getting impatient. Needed the angel inside him, it was an overwhelming need. The only thing he could think about right now. But before he could complain again, Aziraphale was sliding inside him carefully, watching his face for any sign of discomfort.

‘I´m alright angel’ he whispered, locking their gaze. They moved together on a slow rhythm at first, Aziraphale holding him tight. His eyes were so full of love, Crowley could feel every ounce of this love dripping of the angel´s pores and engulfing him, making him feel all this grace and light inside him. So powerful. He never felt so loved, so cherished before. It was dizzying.

‘I love you’ Aziraphale panted on his lips, thrusting harder and Crowley writhed beneath him screaming the same thing, wrapping his arms around his neck. The demon closed his eyes when he felt his angel coming inside him. When he opened his eyes again there were pearly white feathers scattered and floating around the room.

‘I love you angel’

***

‘I only noticed at that church in 1944’ Aziraphale said sometime later when they shared some takeaway, both wearing robes and sitting on the floor. Shoulders touching. ‘Sorry dear’

‘What for angel ?’ Crowley asked eating a bite of his broccoli

‘For taking so long, I was too afraid of it before. Too afraid of my feelings, too afraid of what might have happened to you’ the angel explained with a tight voice.

‘What made you change your mind?’ Crowley asked curious.

‘Now I know the Almighty would never punish me for loving’ The answer was simple and sincere. The demon laughed and leaned to kiss his angel cheek.

‘Yes, She would never’ He agreed. They finished their take away and then cuddled on the couch falling asleep. When they woke up later, both noticed a new plant near the window. A white rose bush and small note. Both laughed and kissed again. Now they have all the time of the world.

_‘You are right. I would never judge you. You have my blessing_

_-God’_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all have enjoyed it <3


End file.
